Elliptical Wanderings

Again whilst on the elliptical this morning I was listening to my Ipod. Yes, there is a jack to plug it into and really great speakers to hear all of my favorite tunes! So the album "Rust Never Sleeps" pops up and away we go!

The song "Thrasher" rolled right in behind "Hey Hey My My" and I began to drift and dream with the imagery of Neil Young's well written lyrics.

I wondered about the meanings behind lines like: "they had given all they had for something new" knowing exactly who 'they' were. I've done it myself. You probably have also... That moment when you trade it all in for something that appears to be better than what you have right now. It seems that there is always a higher price tag for not counting the cost for such trade offs, when in reality, we were better off to stay put. Stay the course. Keep keeping on. We never get ahead by starting over all the time. There always seems to be a catch on these 'too good to be true' deals.

"It was then that I knew I'd had enough, burned my credit card for fuel. Headed out to where the pavement turns to sand. With a one-way ticket to the land of truth and my suitcase in my hand, how I lost my friends I still don't understand." This is the fourth stanza out of eight. (Musical genius!) This verse is where Neil decides that Crosby Stills and Nash are better off without him and vice versa. But I believe it speaks more of a universal truth. I believe the author is saying that when we finally get a taste of what is good and right, and we're tired of the status quo, though it may be lonely, we can walk away knowing we are doing the right thing. Even if it means leaving your coat or your cards and money on the table. Some things are just not worth repeating whether in word or deed. You know. Cut our losses. Move along.

I think in these well-penned lyrics Neil believes that it was best for him to move on down the line. He is trying to impart that life is short and a thrashing comes to us all. And yes, there will be pain. But it is in the pain that we grow and rise to a better understanding of circumstances and people around us. "Down the windy halls of friendship, to the rose clipped by the bullwhip." I don't know about you, but most of my friends today are not those of yesteryear. There are a few wonderfully, faithful ones that hang in there and keep in touch. I am grateful for I know this is rare.

And in the last verse: "But me I'm not stopping there, got my own row left to hoe. Just another line in the field of time. When the thrasher comes I'll be stuck in the sun like the dinosaurs in shrines. But I'll know the time has come to give what's mine." Is this about the maturation process? Or maybe a beginning of the understanding of the rhythms of life and the human experience. Perhaps Young sees his life and death in a brief moment of clarity, knowing that he too will pass away. But in the mean time, with death a long way off (if we are blessed,) each of us has our own race to run. Each of us has a contribution to make. A positive one or a negative one by our words and actions each day.

So what'll it be? You gonna hang around lost in rock formations, becoming park bench mutations on the sidewalks and in the stations, waiting, waiting... or are you going to agree to the Great Grand Canyon rescue episode. Will you raise up your hands for help/surrender? You can decide how your story will go. Just say yes to God's design and saddle up for the grand adventure. (A rescue plan is in the works, I promise!)

Hey hey, my my!

deeper well...

In my reading today whilst on the elliptical, I realized I have not been dipping into the deeper well that has been offered to me--that has been offered to all of us. I have spent a lion's share of winter complaining about the weather. Something I cannot change. I have been dwelling on the loss of loved ones. Something I cannot change. I have been been very self centered and focused on what I want, what I think, what I feel. I'm sad. I'm sick. I'm hungry. I'm tired. I'm, me, me, me... my, my, my. Bob Seger put it in a song when he sang how he was 'tired of his own voice.' NOW THIS IS SOMETHING I CAN CHANGE!

The negativity has to cease!

A question came to my attention this morning: "What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?"

If you know me, you know I am a big fan/follower of Jesus Christ and enjoy reading His Bible. I especially love the stories about the un-named women in the Bible. John 4 tells of a woman at a well. She is a broken soul in need of refreshing. Little did she know she would encounter God when she showed up in the heat of that day to dip from Jacob's well. Jesus gave her his take on water, wells and eternal life. He did not look down his nose at her for her past failures or her negative outlook on life. He did not give up on her as she steered clear of religion, worship and church people during the course of their conversation. He was so focused on her well being.... just like Jesus to put everything else aside to take care of that one lost sheep.

That day, that unknown woman forever deemed "the Samaritan woman at the well," was given a deeper well to draw from. She was given a new perspective. She went away with a whole new point of view! She went away with resources and wisdom to live out the rest of her days.

My memory is short. I forget so easily how much I am loved by God, my family and friends. I forget that spring has not forgotten to come... it's just not time yet. I forget that it's not all about me. I forget that I too have wisdom and a deeper well to draw from when the going gets tough.{A spring of water welling up to eternal life.} I forget to look up. I forget to look out. I forget to do a simple, kind deed for someone else to help me forget about myself for awhile. Forgive me and thank you 'book on elliptical' for the reminder.

God is still holy and good. Even when we forget.

What would I attempt to do if I knew I could not fail?
Have less fear of the unknown.
Love more. Speak sweeter words.
Go to cooking school in Italy and commandeer a local restaurant!
Ride the most amazing little horse and cut cows on her.
Finish all those books I've started writing.
Laugh even louder than I already do... maybe just longer.
See more of my family.
Believe.

One Day at a Time

Every day now, the countryman will remind you, is another day toward spring. If it is bright and sunny, it is a bonus day to weigh against the winter averages. If it is raw and blustery, full of snow or sleet or torturing wind, it is one more day of winter endured. Either way, it moves us another step toward April.

The days themselves are changing. When the year turned, the sun was in the sky only a little more than nine hours. In mid-February it will be there, visible or not, an hour and a half longer. And the night hours of darkness are losing their grip on the numbing cold. Until the middle of February, the nights will have been losing about two minutes of darkness each day, but after this period they will lose almost three.

Don't go looking for spring just down the road. All you will find is March. The vernal equinox now is just weeks ahead, true; but spring isn't a date on a calendar, and it isn't an astronomical calculation set down in an almanac. Spring is a new sprout, an unfolding leaf, a blossom and a bee. It is brooks chattering across the meadows and peepers shrilling in the bog lands in the dusk.

But first, winter must pass. And winter, whether it lifts your heart or tries your soul, still passes one day at a time.
--Editorial in New York Times

I clipped this from a Reader's Digest a few years back when it seemed winter in Red Lodge would never end. Now, back in Powell, it still seems like winter will never end. I am beginning to wonder if the winter in my heart will ever end... I can see signs of spring approaching to end this grief. Winds will blow and change everything once again. Whether winds of chilling, or winds of warming, oh my how the wind doth blow!

But first, winter must pass. And winter, whether it lifts your heart or tries your soul, still passes one day at a time.

We will get by. Thanks be to God who gives us added strength and moments of peace and clarity.


Remembering warmer days...