TICK TOCK!

"Every opportunity has an expiration date!" My oldest stated this strange fact the other day. I'm going to have to agree. So many opportunities pass us by due to indecision, ignorance or just plain apathy. As aptly written in Donald Miller's "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years," we need to simply begin writing a better story. We need to get off the couch and stop living our story vicariously through the stupid television. This is not new thought territory. Professionals have been saying this for years about our children. But seeing as though our kids don't do as we say, but rather do as we do, then as the adults and leaders of a generation, we have an obligation to write a better story. "Every opportunity has an expiration date." Today is an opportunity to take care of someone else other than self. Today is a new opportunity to forgive those who have wronged you and ask for forgiveness from those you have wronged. Today is an opportunity to speak sweeter-- especially to your spouse or your children. Today. Just for today... because today will expire. This is an absolute truth. Brand new mercies and compassions, today. Whatever your opportunity to do something good and right today do it! It's your sphere of influence not mine. I've got my own opportunities passing me by. Tick tock.

My husband and I got to love on these sweet kids once. I hope to get to meet them again someday.

Celebrate Austin!

Today is Thursday. My oldest daughter turned 25 yesterday. She is quite the determined young woman. Always has been. Russ tells the story of how we used to bundle her up and send her down, in mid winter, to feed her bunnies-- she was only three. I always said, "If you are going to pen 'em up you have to take care of them." This went for any animals on our farm. They usually ate before we did. That's how I was taught. She never objected to going out to do the chores. She never objected to any of our requests. She has always been one to please those she loves. She doesn't like to let anyone down. She tries so hard to do her best in everything. She is a great person, a sweet friend and a loving daughter and older sister to her two little sisters. Twenty five years old... I turn fifty in exactly two months. So hard to believe I had her just before my 25th birthday. Oh my! What did I know? What did I know? I only knew one thing: I would die for that sweet baby girl they put in my arms. I would give my life... and I did! Still do, and still would. What kind of love is this? Amazing love. Even a glimpse of the love God has for his children. Sweet sweetness!

Austin graduating with her masters from Fuller.

Closer to You

   Oh sweet time passing swiftly like the water rushing by, dragging my dry fly with you as you go far away and mingled with other streams of life.
   It seems like we're still at the house on Susan Lake and I'm stealing clothes from your closet. That used to make you so mad. I'm still not sorry! You had cool clothes and I wanted to be like you.
   You smiled as I strummed that borrowed guitar. You smiled at me like a big sister should. I'm sorry I didn't learn the Kenny Chesney song for your funeral. Something in me quit that day. Pretty sure it was a good thing. No more performance to force my way into my emotional bank and out the back exit without getting caught. Who did I fool? What did I steal? Got away with nothing... time to pay the price for emotional bankruptcy.
Listening to Kenny makes you feel closer.
I never much liked Kenny. You did. So, I listen to him now. You always liked the cool music and I wanted to be like you.
By the way... orange is the coolest color. You were right again.

 I'm just pissed. Period. I'll get over it. Better yet- I'll get through it.
Someday.

All We Need

Do you ever get up early and anxious for all the "wants and gimmees"? That's what my husband calls them. When you simply just long for things. Things you think will make you happy. Things you're just sure you can't live without. Sort of like an entitlement program where folks just think they have it all coming to them because they deserve it somehow. I woke up today with the wants and gimmees. Like I want a horse. I want a dog. I want to live on a farm and grow things... I want the past back. I want my kids little again. I want my sister and brother back. I want to be happy again like the old days. But, if I think hard enough, the old days were just as tough as today. I had everything I needed then and I have everything I need right now. I am ungrateful. I can change that. I know how. I'm so glad we had this little talk!

Singin' Songs

Being a worship leader for church, I always have a song ready to sing. I love to play my guitar, sing and compose lyrics. I have been doing this since I was 14 years old. My parents gave me a guitar and a Bible that year!! So funny how I got both at almost the same time. Don't tell me there isn't a master plan; or better yet a Master Planner.
"What will today bring-- where will it start?
I'll begin here on my knees opening my heart."

The Sweetness of an Ordinary Monday

Thank God for Mondays! I know, I know. You're not suppose to like Mondays. They are supposed to go badly so you can voice your opinions to all around you, "Boy what a Monday!" "Sure feels like Monday!" "Blue Monday..."
Frankly, I love the routine of Monday. You know that feeling that the weekend came and went and the laundry, bills, dishes, leftovers and mail have all stacked up due to taking Saturday and Sunday off to spend time with family, read and rest.
I am always excited to get back at it; then by Monday evening I am exhausted. It's a good feeling though to feel so alive. Truly living each day as it comes. Some sense of accomplishment when tasks are completed.
Thank God for Mondays.  For the sweetness of abundance of the autumn harvest of time and adventure. Each season will continue to pass with or without me. I'm gonna go with it and not miss a moment.... just going to have more of  'em.

Everlovin' Saturday...

Big breakfast with fresh, sweet ham, brown eggs and french toast with my sweet family minus one... she is at college far, far away. Riding with my big, burley husband in his huge, manly man pickup truck down to the shop to discuss options. Farmers market, and off to the antique/junque stores. A great morning to forgive, forget and start over. Yep, and that's exactly what I did. I gave somebody a break today... let 'em off the hook and let them start over too. Oh sweet freedom. Heck ya!
Above:  A picture of my hubby. A true gift from God. The love of my life for almost 28 years. Over half of my life. He's not fifty yet... I'm older!! Ha Ha.

A New Day...

My dad used to say each night before bed, "Tomorrow's a new day!"
Of course, I didn't want to hear that it was bed time... Kids never want to hear the words
"bed time" or "nap time!"
Now that I am approaching 50 years of age, still doesn't seem right to be able to say that,
I am grateful to hear, "Tomorrow's a new day."
I am also grateful to know that it is bed time!
I am still sleeping 6-8 hours on a good night... last night was one of those.
But I hear that the older you get the less you sleep at night.
That's ok too... then I can get more done.
Maybe more worrying? Maybe more praying!
Certainly more guitar playing and reading.
Life is good. Even in the midst of battle the fight keeps me pressing on and pressing in.

My mom shot this pict of a rainbow over Montana. So simple... yet so profound.
What creates the phenomenon of a rainbow. Yes, it's phenomenal! I never not run outside excitedly to see the sight when a rainbow comes. I know about the science of rainbows but I would sure like to know more about the promises wrapped up in 'em.

just for today...

Just for today I will have more moments of ordinary and not so many moments of premeditated worry and conversations with people that I'm not ever going to have. The mind is a powerful swindler if given over to itself. Stay in the moment, stay in the moment. Don't trade what is true, good and right for what is false. Just the facts ma'am!